Calvin's Inventory of Relics

This is hilarious! This John Calvin's Inventory of Relics. Why do I love John Calvin so much? One of many reasons is he was neurotic enough not only to write against the use of Relics (by the way, relics are still alive and well in the modern catholic churhc) but he was neurotic enough to try to cataloug and write an inventory of them! My kinda guy! Read and hear the sarcasm!!!

Jesus ((number of locations) = location if known)

Altar from Temple on which Jesus was laid (1) = Church of St James in Rome.

Blood (5) = Rochelle in Aunis in Nicodemus' handkerchief; Mantua in a full phial; Billom in Auvergne liquid in a crystal vase; Also in Billom coagulated blood; Eustathins at Rome in a goblet.

Blood and water (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome.

Branch which Jesus carried as He rode upon a donkey into Jerusalem (1) = Church of St Salvator in Spain.

Bread from the Feeding of the Five Thousand (2) = Church of Maria Nova in Rome; Church of St Salvador in Spain.

Broiled fish, piece of, which Jesus ate after His resurrection and while on the shore with the Apostles (1) = place unknown.

Cradle (1) = Church of St Salvator in Spain.

Crown of Thorns (18) = 1/3 part in the Holy Chapel in Paris; 3 thorns in the Church of Santa Croce in Rome; portion in the Church of St Eustathius in Rome; numerous thorns at Sienna; 1 thorn at Vineennes; 5 thorns at Bourges; 3 thorns in the Church of St John [place unknown]; 3 thorns at Koningsberg; several thorns in the Church of St Salvator in Spain; 2 thorns in the Church of St Jago in Compostella; 3 thorns in Vivarais; 1 thorn at Toulouse; 1 thorn at Mascon; 1 thorn at Charrox in Poicton; 1 thorn at St Clair; 1 thorn at Sanflor; 1 thorn at San Maximinin Provence in the monastery of Selles; 1 thorn in the Church of St Martin at Noyon.

Cross, piece of (?) = John Calvin: "There is no town, however small, which has not some morsel of it . . . There is no abbey so poor as to have a specimen. In some places, larger fragments exist, as at Paris, in the Holy Chapel, at Poictiers, and at Rome. . . . If all the pieces which could be found were collected into a heap, they would form a good shipload."

Cross which appeared to Constantine on the day before his decisive victory in battle (2) = Brescia; Cortonia.

Crucifix on which a beard has grown (3) = Burgos in Spain; Church of St Salvator in Spain; Aurengia.

Dice used to cast lots for Jesus' tunic (2) = Treves; the Church of St Salvator in Spain.

Earth on which Jesus stood when He raised Lazarus from the dead (1) = Church of St Salvator in Spain.

Foreskin (1) = Charrox, Rome.

Infant sleeping shirt (1) = Church of St Salvator in Spain.

Last Supper

Bread from the Last Supper (1) = Church of St Salvador in Spain.
Chalice from the Last Supper (2) = Church of Mary Insulane near Lyons; Vivarais in the monastery of Angustines.
Knife from the Last Supper which was used to cut up the Passover Lamb (1) = Treves.
Plate on which the Passover Lamb was served (3) = Rome; Genoa; Arles.
Table from the Last Supper (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome.
Towel with which the Apostles' feet were dried after Footwashing (2) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome; Church of Cornelius in Acqs, Germany [this one has the mark of Judas' foot on it].
Linen (2) = Church of Saint Paul in Rome; a portion in the Church of St Salvator in Spain.

Manger = Church of the Elder Mary in Rome.

Nails from the Cross of Jesus (14) = Church of St Helena in Rome; Church of Santa Croce in Rome; Sienna; Venice; Church of the Three Manes in Cologne, Germany; Treves, Germany; Holy Chapel in Paris; possession of the Carmelites [location unknown]; Church of St Denis in the Isle of France; Abbey of Ciseaux; in Bourges; Draguignan in France; Milan; Carpeutras.

Napkin (or portion of it) on which Jesus' head was laid in the tomb (7) = Augustin monastery at Carcassone; Nice; Acps in Germany; Macstricht; Bensancon; Vindon in Limoges; Lorraine on the border of Alsace; Church of St Salvator's in Spain; Ausgustin monestary in Vivarais; a nunnery in Rome.

Pillars (3) around which Jesus was led after being scourged (1) = Church of Santa Croce.

Pillar on which Christ leaned in the temple when in discussion (1) = place unknown.

Pillar on which Christ was bound when scourged (1) = Church of Praxed.

Reed, that which was placed in Jesus hand as a scepter (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome.

Robe which Mary used to wrap the dead Jesus (2) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome; Augustin monastery at Carcassone.

Robe which was placed on Jesus by the soldiers (2) = Argenteuil, a suburb of Paris; Treves.

Shoes (1) = Rome [specific location unknown].

Soldier's spear which pierced Jesus' side (4) = Holy Chapel in Paris; Rome [specific location unknown]; Saintongue in the monastery of Ciseaux in France; Selve near Bourdeaux.

Sponge, that which was filled with vinegar and offered to Jesus (1) = Church of Santa Croce in Rome.

Steps of Pilate's judgment seat (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome [it has holes which are supposedly made when Jesus' blood dripped onto it].

Tail of the donkey Jesus rode in the Triumphal Entry (1) = Genoa.

Tears of Jesus (3 ) = Vindon; Church of St Maximin at Treves [when Jesus was washing the Apostles' feet]; Church of Peter Puellare at Orleans.

Title, piece of wood named above Jesus' head on the Cross (2) = Tholouse; Church of Santa Croce.

Veronica's napkin (which Veronica used to wipe the face of Jesus and which as His face imprinted on it) (1) = St Peter's in Rome.

Water pots in which Jesus turned water to wine in Cana (5) = Ilavenna; Pisa; Cluny; Angers; Church of St Salvator in Spain.

Wine that Jesus changed from water (1) = Orleans [Once a year they give a tasting to any who bring an offering, Calvin].

Mary & Joseph ((number of locations) = location if known)

Mary

Appearance of Michael the Archangel to Mary

Michael's dagger (3) = Carcassone; church of St Julian in Tours; Church of St Michael [location unknown].
Michael's shield (1) = Church of St Michael [location unknown].
Comb ( 2) = St Martin's at Rome; St John's Besancon [location unknown].

Hair (6) = Church of Mary supra Minerva in Rome; Church of St Salvator's in Spain; Mascon; Cluny; Nocera; Sanfior; St. James [location unknown].

Girdles (2) =Prague; St Lago of Montserrat.

Gowns (2) = Church of St Maximin in Treves; Lisia in Italy.

Marriage ring (1) = Perugia.

Milk = John Calvin: "It cannot be necessary to enumerate all the places where it is shown. Indeed, the task would be endless, for there is no town, however small, no monastery or nunnery, however insignificant, which does not possess it, some in less, and others in greater quantities."

Pictures of Mary painted by Luke (4)

Church of St Mary the Immaculate in Rome, hung behind the altar.
Church of Mary Nova in Rome, painted at Troas and brought there by an angel.
Church of St Mary called Aracali painted in the form of a cross.
Church of St Augustine, which is the one Luke carried with him.
Ring of Betrothal (1) = Church of St Mary the Immaculate in Rome.

Scarf (1) = Bonne.

Shirt (2) = Chartrain; Acqs in Germany.

Various parts of wardrobe (4) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome; Church of St Barbara in Rome; Church of Mary supra Minerva in Rome; Church of St Salvator's in Spain.

Slipper (1) = St James.

Shoe (1) = Sanfior.

Joseph

Shoes (3) = Acqs in Germany; Treves; monastery of Simeon.

John the Baptist ((number of locations) = location if known)

Head

Front part (2) = Amiens; Joannes Angelicus.
Forehead and hair (1) = Church of St Salvator's in Spain.
Forehead to back of neck (1) = Malta.
Back of head (1) = Nevers.
Brain (1) = Novium Rantraviensis.
Part of head (3)= Joannes Morienus; Noyon; Lueca.
Jaw (1) = Church of John the Elder in Besancon.
Part of jaw (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Paris.
Tip of ear (1) = Canflor.
Whole head (1) = Monastery of Sylvester in Rome.
Altar on which he said prayers in the desert (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome.

Arm (1) = Sienna.

Ashes from John's cremation (2) = Genoa; Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome.

Finger with which John the Baptist pointed out Jesus (6) = Church of John the Great in Besancon; Tholouse; Lyons; Bourges; Florence; Church of Fortuitus near Maseon.

Girdle (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome.

Linen Cloth which was placed under him when he was beheaded (1) = Acqs, Germany.

Shoe (1) = Monastery of the Carthusians in Paris.

Sword with which his head was cut off (1) = Avignon.

Peter ((number of locations) = location if known)

Beard (1) = Poictiers.

Body = 1/2 at St Peter's in Rome; 1/2 at St Paul's in Rome.

Bones, various (1) = Treves.

Chain with which Peter was bound (1) = St Peter's in Rome.

Chair in which Peter sat (1) = Rome [specific location unknown].

Cheekbone (1) = Poictiers.

Head (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome.

Petronilla, body of [name of Peter's daughter; she is not named in the Gospels; this name was probably a later addition] (2) = St Peter's in Rome; La Maine [this relic was believed to be able to cure fevers.]

Pillar on which Peter was beheaded (1) = Church of St Anastasius. [This causes some confusion. Early church tradition holds that Peter was crucified upside down.]

Robe in which Peter said mass (1) = Rome [specific location unknown].

Staff, walking (3) = Church of St Stephen a' Pierre in Paris; Cologne; Treves.

Sword with which the servant's ear was cut off (1) = [location unknown].

Tooth (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome.

Paul ((number of locations) = location if known)

Body = 1/2 at St Peter's in Rome; 1/2 at St Paul's in Rome.

Bones, various = Treves.

Head (1) = Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome.

Shoulder (1) = Berri.

Apostles ((number of locations) = location if known)

Andrew, body of (2) = Melfi; Tholouse.

Andrew, arm (1) = Church of Holy Spirit.

Andrew, foot (1) = Aix.

Andrew, head (1) = Church of St Peter in Rome.

Andrew, rib (1) = St Eustathius.

Andrew, shoulder (1) = Grisgon.

Andrew, unknown part of body = Church of St. Blaise.

Bartholomew, body of (2) = Naples; Church of St Bartholomew in Rome.

Bartholomew, finger (1) = Frene.

Bartholomew, head (1) = Treves.

Bartholomew, skin (1) = Pisa.

James the Greater, body of (1) = Tholouse.

James, arm (2) = Grisgon; Church of the Holy Apostles.

James, hand (1) = Church of St Peter in Rome.

James the Less, body of (2) = Church of the Holy Apostles; Tholouse.

John, the chain with which he was bound when brought from Ephesus [to Patmos?] (1) = location unknown.

John, cup out of which he drank poison after he was condemned by Emperor Domitian (2) = Bonlogue; Church of Joannes Lateranensis in Rome. [Early church tradition holds that John is the only Apostle to have died a natural death from old age.]

John, tunic (1) = location unknown.

Jude, body of (2) = Church of St Peter; Tholouse.

Matthew, body of (1) = Salerno.

Matthew, arm (1) = Church of St Marcelius in Rome.

Matthew, head (1) = St. Nicholas.

Matthew, various bones = Treves.

Matthias, body of (3) = Padua; Church of the Elder Mary in Rome; Treves.

Matthias, arm (1) = location unknown.

Matthias, head (1) = location unknown.

Philip, body of (2) = Church of the Holy Apostles; Tholouse.

Philip, foot (1) = Church of the Holy Apostles in Rome.

Philip, unknown part of body = Church of St Barbara in Rome.

Simeon, body of (2) = Church of St Peter; Tholouse.

Thomas, body of (1) = Ortona.

Various Relics ((number of locations) = location if known)

Anna, mother of the Virgin Mary, body of (2) = Apte in Provence; church of Mary Insulan in Lyons.

Anna, mother of the Virgin Mary, arm (1) = St Paul's in Rome.

Anna, mother of the Virgin Mary, hand (3) = Treves; Turin; Thuringia.

Combs, one for each Apostle = church of Mary Insulan, near Lyons.

Lazarus, body of (3) = Marseilles; Austum; Avallon.

Longinus [name given to soldier who speared Jesus on the cross], body of (2) = Mantua; Church of Mary Insulan at Lyons.

Magi, bodies of (2 locations claimed to have all three) = Cologne; Milan.

Mary Magdalene, body of (2) = Vesoul, near Auxerre; San Maximin of Provence.

Stephen (the first martyred Christian), body of (1) = Church of St Stephen in Rome.

Stephen, head (1) = Aries

Stephen, stones with which he was killed (4 ) = Florence; Monastery of the Augustins in Aries; Vigeon in Aquitaine; Carmelites of Poictiers [one of the stones in Poictiers was said to ease the pain of childbirth].

Stephen, various bones = John Calvin, "[The] bones are in more than two hundred places."